The Lost Folklore of Valentine’s Day: The February Birds Who Choose Their Mates

When most people think of Valentine’s Day, they picture roses, cards, and heart‑shaped everything. But tucked beneath all the commercial noise is a quiet, old piece of folklore that once shaped how people understood mid‑February: the belief that birds choose their mates on February 14th.

This idea appears in scattered bits of medieval writing, rural sayings, and early seasonal customs — not grand myths, not religious doctrine, just the soft folklore of people watching the natural world and giving it meaning.

It’s a tiny tradition, almost forgotten now, but it reveals something lovely about how humans once read the seasons.

Why Birds? Why February?

In parts of medieval Europe, people noticed that certain birds — especially those that stayed through winter — began showing early signs of pairing as the light slowly returned. February wasn’t spring, but it was the hint of it. A promise.

So the idea formed: mid‑February is when the birds begin choosing their mates for the year.

This wasn’t scientific. It wasn’t meant to be. It was observational folklore — the kind that grows from watching the same hedgerows, the same fields, the same sky year after year.

And because people loved parallels, they tied their own courtship customs to the birds’ imagined ones.

The “Bird Marriage” Tradition

In some regions, children would celebrate “bird weddings” in mid‑February. They’d leave crumbs or seeds outside “for the wedding feast,” imagining that the sparrows or blackbirds were holding tiny ceremonies in the hedges.

It was playful, not ceremonial — a way to mark the turning of the season with a bit of whimsy.

Adults sometimes used the phrase “the birds are choosing” as a gentle nudge toward courtship, or simply as a seasonal marker, the way we might say “the first crocuses are up.”

How This Folklore Shaped Valentine’s Day

Before Valentine’s Day was about romance, it was mostly a feast day with no particular theme. But the bird‑pairing folklore gave it a new seasonal meaning: mid‑February became associated with choosing, pairing, and early affection.

Not grand passion. Not destiny. Just the small, hopeful beginnings of connection — the same way the year itself was beginning to turn.

This is likely why early Valentine’s letters and tokens often referenced birds. Not because of Cupid, but because of the hedgerows.

A Folkloric Way to See Valentine’s Day Today

If you prefer your holidays gentle, folkloric, and rooted in seasonal living rather than commercial noise, this old belief offers a softer lens:

• Valentine’s Day becomes a marker of early light, not a pressure-filled romantic event.

• It becomes a day about small gestures, like the first birdsong after winter.

• It becomes a reminder that connection begins quietly, long before spring arrives.

You don’t need a partner to enjoy it. You don’t need roses or chocolates. You only need the awareness that the year is turning, and that humans have always looked for signs of warmth in the coldest months.

A Simple Modern Ritual (Folkloric, Not Spiritual)

If you want to honor this tradition in a cozy, non‑mystical way:

• Put out a handful of seeds for the winter birds.

• Notice which ones visit.

• Let it be a tiny celebration of mid‑February — a nod to the old belief that love, in all its forms, begins quietly.

It’s a way of saying: the world is still cold, but it’s turning.

And that’s enough.